Newfrontiers Vision & Values | 7b. Marriage, Parenting and Being Single: On male servant leadership and joyful female submission | By Terry Virgo and Simon Virgo

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7b. Marriage, Parenting and Being Single

b) On male servant leadership and joyful female submission

>> On Family life and singleness

>> On male servant leadership and

      joyful female submission

>> On godly parenting

‘A church where Biblical family life is highly valued, where husband and wife embrace male servant leadership and joyful female submission, where godly parenting is taught and practised and where the special value of singleness and its unique opportunities are affirmed.’

Simon Virgo, “So a biblical understanding would be that you would see the husband as having a position of authority within the home, head of the home, there is a leadership responsibility there. How is that carried out? I guess some people would resist it thinking, “well surely that sets up a bullying regime. You say you give this guy the authority. What about the poor wife and kids you know?”

Terry Virgo, “Paul is very clear the New Testament is very clear and ordered in the whole way in which this is taught and certainly it is possible for someone in a position to quote one section and to say to his wife, “you are supposed to submit yourself to me.” That is really not the point, the point is that the wife is addressed from the Bible. Her role is clear, his role is clear and for each of us to obey the role that is set out for us and I think there needs to be especially in Christian marriage a clear underlining of that.

So most churches would have marriage preparation courses where the Christian value of marriage is talked about and so godly elders, responsible church leaders will encourage people who say, “we are going to get married” say, “oh well we would love you to come through our marriage preparation programme where we sit and look at the Bible together, and what do we feel about what the Bible says about these values? Because the day you get saved. You know you put your hand up in a meeting you think, “I have got my sins forgiven.” You don’t realise I am being brought into now a completely different culture, a different value system, a completely different worldview. And these things need to be taught, they need to be taught on Sunday’s in the church publicly so that even all the singles hear the values of marriage, and then they need to be taught in a more internal situation where we can sit and talk and evaluate and discuss, “are we all ready for this? Do we understand this? What do you want to promise?” And so when we were married Wendy said, “no I want that line in ‘I will obey.’ I mean some people want to avoid that but she said, “no I want to say that” been working it out ever since of course. But she would want to say that and we want to come back to that all the time. And I need to all the time come back, “am I really making choices that honour her, respect her, and sacrifice for her.” It is a constant reminder that one has to come back to and I think it is something it needs to be agreed – covenanted in marriage.”

Simon Virgo, “I suppose anyone wanting to kind of wield those verses as a husband, “you are supposed to submit to me” would be missing the point that their leadership is to be a servant heart leadership for the benefit of their wife. So hopefully she would appreciate having that in her life.”

Terry Virgo, “Absolutely and I think that it is again in a culture, a context where this is commonly taught in the church and there should be good models of that kind of lifestyle being lived out by the churches leaders so that it is on display and if we see women being crushed, you know that should be very evident because that is not being modelled by church leaders. Women are I trust being given room and space but there is a different role and it reflects the Trinity. That in the Trinity each member of the Trinity is very God, and when Thomas bowed down to Jesus and said, “my LORD and my God” nevertheless you find in Jesus a submission to the Father, and not say, “I am not going to do it your way, I am equally God. I don’t want to do it this way.” You find he says, “this is the cup the Father has given me” and there is a very real submission within the Trinity though he is still God and we are working out family life reflecting something of Trinity where equally we are valued, made in God’s image, made in God’s likeness but having different roles. Just as within the Trinity equally God, different roles. It never says, “the Son sent the Father,” the Father sent the Son and we are reflecting those relationships.”

[End of Video]


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